Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Fun College Tips

College is fun, So taking a break from the serious advice.

All Wisdom Ends in Paradox
Aimed towards girls. Next blog for guys: 
 
  • Bring a heavy concealer w/ you. You WILL party. You WILL get a hickey. You WILL have to meet your friend's parents, your cute advisor, or future employer w/in the week. Hickeys take forever to fade!
  • Unless she's your bestfriend from high school, let your roommate know on the first day that your stuff is NOT hers in any way at all ever. It may seem bitchy, but when you've bought your third shampoo bottle in one month and are begging your parents for money to get more, you'll know why I say this.
  • If your roommate IS your bestfriend from high school, start getting closer to your other good friends now. In 8 months, you will be calling them your bestfriends.
  • READ! Really. The exams actually come from the textbooks.
  • SAVE MONEY BEFORE COLLEGE! The good parties charge girls, too. Where's the chivalry?!? You will get tired of cafeteria food and want to make something from a grocery store. You will ruin a party shirt and need a new one.
  • BRING LOTS OF PARTY SHIRTS! and buy Febreeze...it's the best!
  • GO TO HOUSE PARTIES, not frat parties. Frats only allow brothers and friends. This means the bedroom is right there! NO! House parties let in other guys. Cuter guys. Guys w/ smaller egos (sometimes). And...their bedroom is across campus!!!
  • DON'T SCHEDULE ANY CLASS BEFORE 9AM! Biggest freshman mistake. I know you probably get up @ 6:30 or 7am now. You won't in college. No. You won't. NO! I'm telling you - YOU REALLY WON'T!
  • DON'T WORRY ABOUT HAVING A MAJOR. You will change your mind. That's why you have an advisor. It's worked into the tuition.
  • The people who you are best friends w/ during the first month of school will not be your best friends in the last month of school. Feel free to pretend they are to spare their feelings, but they won't be.
  • GET INSTANT MESSENGER, NAPSTER, SNOOD, and WINAMP. You'll waste all your time @ your computer, but at least you'll fit in. Hey - you could even make a webpage instead of studying for an exam you have tomorrow in History of Modern Philosophy.
  • DON'T TAKE HISTORY OF MODERN PHILOSOPHY!
  • You will date an ugly boy. You get bored. They are nice. THEN YOU'LL FIND A CUTE BOY WHO'S NICER THAN ANY GUY YOU'VE EVER KNOWN.
  • YOUR FIRST VISIT HOME WILL BE ROUGH. You will not have enough @ school to make you miss it, but your whole life will still be @ home w/out you. Cry. It helps.
  • After Christmas break, you'll never want to live at home for more than a week EVER AGAIN!
  • GET OVER YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND! It hurts.
  • If you've discussed breaking up before you go away to different schools, do it. It is only the couples that never consider breaking up a possibility who have even the slimmest chance of staying together & your new friends don't REALLY mean it when they say, "Come talk @ anytime". They mean, "talk w/out tears between the hours of 1pm & 5pm".
  • YOU WILL CHANGE. There is no way you will ever be who you once were & neither will your friends who went away to school. This is all null & void if you go to school w/in an hour of home.
  • GO TO SCHOOL AT LEAST 2 HOURS FROM HOME. You'll never grow up if you don't because a part of you will always belong to your old home.
  • ALWAYS HAVE ONE GOOD GUY FRIEND WHO DOESN'T WANT TO KISS YOU. Take him w/ you to parties. People drink. Stuff happens. You want him to make sure it doesn't happen to you.
  • LEARN THE BASICS OF LAUNDRY. It will help a lot! Your friends will envy your clothing because it won't all be pink, blue, or -1 from shrinking.
  • GET OVER YOUR FEAR OF PUBLIC RESTROOMS. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go & you won't hover 5 times a day for 8 months. People will walk in just as you're doing #2. They do it too. WASH YOUR HANDS - PEOPLE NOTICE!
  • LEARN TO LOVE CRAPPY FOOD. It's no better than high school. Too little taste & too much texture. If you succeed @ this - tell me how!
  • BUY 3 ALARM CLOCKS! You'll need them to get up for that 8am class you swear you'll make it to. YOU WON'T! BELIEVE ME, YOU WON'T!

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